North Korea - Part 1

Hello!! Or as we say in China: Bonjour s'il vous plait.

Well, I'm happy to announce that I'm not writing this blog from a North Korean jail or death camp - for a start they don't have web access there and secondly I managed to enter and leave the country without being kidnapped or arrested or anything else.

So, I don't want to be too smug but I think there should be a significant amount of humble pie being eaten now. "No tact", some people said. "He'll create an international incident for sure", some other people said. "They'll kidnap him because he's suave and sophisticated and what's more he's got a great sense of humour, blessed with fantastic looks and quite frankly the best bottom I've ever seen", everybody agreed. But no, I managed to visit the place without any hassle and I like to think I gave them a taste of the kind of happy-go-lucky-good-looking-witty-charming-etc-etc guy that they might find on the outside.

Being serious for a moment, I don't think I'll manage to really get across what the place is like. It's not that it's so massively different to what you expect or that it's so mindblowing that it can't be comprehended, it's just that we did so much in that one week that I could write for a fortnight and still only give a brief idea of what it's like. All I'd say is that if you want to visit then just do it. You won't be disappointed and regardless of what your expectations are you'll still be surprised in so many ways. It's incredibly easy to visit (as long as you're not South Korean, American or Israeli) and while it's not cheap it's definitely worth it. Also, it's probably not going to stay the same for ever so best see it while it's still around. I travelled with these guys: Koryo Tours who are pretty much the main people in the UK to visit North Korea with.

One other thing is that the North Korea I saw isn't really the real North Korea. I had glimpses of it - not least on the train back to China, but essentially I was only shown what their government wanted me to see because they're trying to show themselves in the best possible light. It's no coincidence we spent most of our time in Pyongyang because that's the showcase capital and where most of the money has been spent. People are picked to live there so they're generally quite happy and they realise that they're lucky compared to the rest of the country. They need a permit to leave Pyongyang and I suppose (although I don't know) that those from outside the capital need a permit to go there.

Another thing is that I'm not a North Korea expert by the longest stretch of the imagination. I know a little bit about it and I know some of the rumours about their current leader Kim Jong Il but because so little news filters out from the country then I don't know what's true and what's not and I also know very little about the history of the country and some of the major events, especially in the last 50 years or so. So if I come across as a little naive or if some of the stuff I'm saying is just plain wrong then don't bite my head off! I just wanted to see the country for myself.

Anyway, we flew out from Beijing on the Tuesday morning with Koryo Air - the national North Korea airline (which is banned from European airspace apparently because their safety record is so bad). We got an in-flight meal which was pretty good but I quickly lost my appetite when the stewardess came on the intercom to say that the flight was going very well and it was because the president was in charge of the flight. Just to set the picture - the North Korean president has been dead since 1994 although he still fills the role of president, just with a little less enthusiasm.
I was quite glad when we landed with all of my limbs intact and still attached to my body but will admit to a few nerves as we rolled up to Pyongyang airport and went through DPRK (Democratic Republic of Korea) customs. In the event it all went nice and smoothly and we were ushered to our bus where our driver and two guides (Mr Lee and Mrs Lee (no relation)) were waiting for us. Our guides were there to show us around but they were also there to make sure we didn't take pictures of things we shouldn't be taking pictures of. Apparently in the past guides have lost their jobs and worse has happened to them because of tourists taking unauthorised pictures so we were told in Beijing to ask before taking pictures and to give some thought to the consequences to the guides if we thought about snapping a few secret shots from the bus. Clearly it's not a country to fool around in so we were all on best behaviour as we got on the bus and we were immediately whisked away to a school to see what was basically their school show.

Well, this was surprise #1 (of many) on the trip. These kids were really very talented indeed and we were treated to dancing and music of a very high standard - much more than I've seen any any school production in the UK - not that I make a habit of hanging around schools before you ask. The thought came to me that back in the UK these kids would be nicking cars and beating up pensioners and yet here they were in this repressive country working really hard to excel at something. Comparing what I saw in DPRK to what I knew in the UK became a pretty common theme thoughout the trip and in the end left me pretty confused. I suppose food shortages (and I mean serious food shortages - famine conditions in some parts of the country apparently) focus the mind somewhat .

After the show we were taken to a massive bronze statue of Kim Il Sung - the Eternal President and the Great Leader. My history is shaky but I think he was installed by the Russians as the leader of North Korea once the Japanese ended their occupation during the second world war and he was also responsible for starting the Korean War (although DPRK claim it was the Americans). When the war finished (or at least, when the armistice was signed) then he set about rebuilding the country, closing it off from the rest of the world and developing a serious personality cult. So, as you travel around you see lots of statues and massive pictures of him and his son Kim Jong Il. By the end of the trip I was getting sick of looking at him, and what's more is that he has one of those faces that you wouldn't tire of thumping. I didn't voice this opinion at the time though...

We were all expected to bow before the statue and lay some flowers. As the guys in Beijing said, "Go along to get along" and since it would be a massive loss of face to our guides if we didn't lower our heads then we were happy enough to do so. It's quite hard to get across just how much the North Koreans love him. They're brought up with stories about him and all the good he's done for the country, and conversely they're brought up to believe that the Amercians are evil and that all the problems that DPRK faces is because of them. For sure the Americans have a lot to answer for (especially for forcing Tom Cruise upon us) but there is a lot of anti-American propaganda that isn't 100% true. As a tourist I picked up lots of books detailing the crimes of the Americans (or the American Imperialist Aggressors as they're referred to) and lots of stamps of big angry Koreans crushing little American soldiers. It was quite odd but quite entertaining too.

After the statue we were taken to the Arc of Triumph which was constructed to celebrate the North Korean 'victory' in the Korean war. It's a little bit weird seeing these massive glorious constructions when you know that the country is really struggling and where power cuts are common but I suppose that's what comes with having a nutter for a leader.

After the statue it was getting dark and we were taken to our hotel. I was a little concerned about this because I didn't know what to expect but I was very pleasantly surprised. It had about 70 stories and a revolving restaurant at the top and was placed on an island so that we couldn't go wandering off. I expected it to be dead but it was actually very busy because there was a friendship festival on which meant it was filled with Russian dancers and musicians and also with lots of strange communist-Kim-Il-Sung-wannabees from around the world. If you were looking for a definition of the word surreal then this hotel provided it. All week I was trying to avoid mulletted Russian men with crop tops, spandex tights, shirts that were undone revealing just too much chest for any civilised country, sideburns that had been shaved off on a straight line above the ear and women with make up that was applied in the dark with a paintbrush. Imagine Eurovision circa 1987 and you're getting there. The other entertainment was provided by the lift system which juddered and shook its way to the 73rd floor and stopped at whichever floor it wanted to stop at, regardless of which buttons you frantically pressed. In the spirit of adventure I once chose to avoid the lift and took the stairs and ended up in the hotel kitchen, but they kindly let me walk through so that I could get my dinner with everyone else.

The hotel room was really nice - probably the nicest room I've been in on this trip with a great view over Pyongyang and it even had BBC World on the TV (although this got cut off a few days later - possibly because they were discussing DPRK and their nuclear ambitions).

The next day we were up early to go to the border with South Korea and the De-Militarised Zone (or the DMZ as they like to call it). I was looking forward to this because I'd seen Michael Palin visit South Korea and look over to DPRK so I was hoping that I would see some Americans and could shout obscenities and make rude signs at them. Not because I have any view on the Korean issue (although you have to have a bit of a soft spot for a country that's banned Americans) - just that I wanted to shout "Yankee go home!" and see what they did. In the event though there were no Americans to see and not even any South Koreans. I did officially step into South Korea though. There are a series of huts where negotiations took place to try to resolve some of the issues between the North and the South and the demarcation line runs through the middle of the huts. The North Koreans have a door on one side and the South Koreans have a door on the other so because I wandered to the other end of the hut I can say that I have visited South Korea, and for the record it looks exactly like North Korea.

The DMZ has lots of oneupmanship going on - the South Koreans built a flagpole so the North Koreans built a bigger one (which turned out the be the biggest in the world and the flag has to get taken down if it gets too windy in case it breaks the pole). Also the North Korean building that looks into South Korea is something like 6 inches bigger than the opposite South Korean building. Finally we were given a propaganda tour of the 'concrete wall' that the US built in the 70s to stop any attempted invasion but there was no mention of the electric fence that the North Koreans built to keep South Koreans out

I took loads of pictures of course and even got my picture taken with a North Korean General and a Colonel. It was interesting that the Colonel was asking who had been to South Korea and what it was like there. They were quite inquisitive and even our guides were interested in what our home life was like. I found it strange that they could be aware that there was a different world out there that is more luxurious and that is effectively hidden from them but still be happy in DPRK. I suppose they resolve it themselves by blaming all their hardships on the Americans and they wouldn't consider putting any blame on the leadership.

We visited a town called Kaesong, close to the DMZ and which also had a grand statue of Kim Il Sung but which couldn't be called the real DPRK either. We had lunch there and then made our way back to Pyongyang. The drive was interesting though because we were seeing those people that weren't permitted to live in Pyongyang working in the fields and cleaning the roads and things. People in DPRK are split into the Intellectuals, the Workers and the Peasants and we were seeing what I assume were the peasants working in the fields and cleaning the roads. Generally the roads were pretty poor but the road to the DMZ was probably the best road in the country. It was reasonably smooth and pretty much went in a straight line from Pyongyang to the DMZ - through tunnels and over bridges and things - yet another display of North Korean pride.

Well, this entry is getting pretty long and I'm only on day 2 so I'll quit here and add some more at another date!